Technology and the Summer Wimp

So it is official. We have broken the misery records here in our cool misty environs. Records going back to 1891 according to Jeff Renner of local King 5 News. Why, they have even issued excessive heat warnings. Just in case you couldn't figure out on your own that it was TWO MILLION DEGREES outside. But hey, you can never be too well informed.

In honor of the Great SeaScorcher of '09 I have decided to remind myself of what a difference a few months and a few million degrees can make. Ahh, snow...

Anyway, it managed to reach 107 degrees today here in the cool piny northwest. That's right it was the same as Phoenix. Well by golly, it's like I never left! ugh.

I am up the side of a mountain about 1,000 feet so they tell me that it was actually actually hotter here! Like I needed that helpful tidbit of information. I pretty much figured that out the instant it reached 104 degrees and the power went out. That's right, just as I was complimenting myself on finding balance with the heat wave all the little things that I had in my arsenal of defense simply went silent. Just blip, nothing, Nada. The praise I heaped upon myself this morning for finally getting the pond water cleared up from the last fiasco on a scorching hot day, gone. Melted away just like the ice cubes two minutes after I plopped them into my tea. Gone was my smug satisfaction that the ice water spritzing combined with the fan on high was sure to keep me cool. Gone were my breaks into the cooler office to check the web for new ways to avoid working. All of it gone, just like that.

My stomach sank as I heard the last dribble of water come down the bio falls and stream beds. I was certain I could hear the algae dying and turning brown up there, the little fishes gasping for breath. The brand new smooth white plastic fan mocked me with its idle blades and plug tongs firmly in place inside the dead outlet. My ice water spritz bottle had gone warm, the ice melted away along with my hope. My survival looked iffy. The dogs even worse.

And then just as my panic was mounting modern technology and the power company's greed kicked in. Lights came on, microwaves beeped, water began to flow down the streams and my glorious shiny new white plastic fan began to twirl its miraculous blades again. I could hear the fishes sighs of relief. I rushed right in and filled up my spritzer with ice and plunked more snowy cubes into my tea glass. It was a glorious moment for modern technology and skimpy breathable Cotton clothing!

Tomorrow is supposed to be another toaster and all I can say is that I have my spritzer in the fridge and several bags of cool crispy ice cubes in the freezer. Why I may even have a few items I need to pick up in the frozen food section at my local grocery store. I don't know what those things might be so I may have to spend some extra time there thinking about it.

The Great SeaScorcher of '09

Yup, it was the great SeaScorcher of aught 9.

Well our little heat wave had me running to the porch for cover and some electric fan action. It really is the humidity that does me in. You just can’t get cool with that. Living in Phoenix I could take the 125 degree temps it reached the year I left and only remark that it seemed a “little hotter today” but that was a dry heat. Someone from Phoenix should kick me now for having said that. In the Pacific Northwest we have been doing our level best to break heat and whine records and I like to think I am doing my part to help out with that. It may well be 100 or more tomorrow and I have been practicing my whining for days now so I'm all ready to go.

I gave up painting in the outdoor studio which had become a sauna and moved some stuff up to the porch which is at least in the shade all day. For any of you not familiar with the PNW weather we are a temperate climate and can expect a week or two of high temps in late July but not like this. This is just stupid weather assuming that weather could in any way be considered intelligent that is.

I am so very grateful that it cools off so much at night. In Phoenix the high concrete, asphalt ratio made evening cool down a quaint theory. You couldn't sit on the cement steps without burning your behind off. A primary concern in everyone’s mind during the summer months was the fear of a car accident in which you were thrown from the vehicle onto the molten hot asphalt only to lie there helpless and in agony. That fear of course came after the scorching antics of getting into your super heated metal oven of a vehicle and trying to drive it without actually touching anything. And yes, it is true; you can actually fry an egg on the sidewalk. It is a rite of passage for all Desert Rat children.

So you see I have earned my right to whine because I have already done my time. The year it hit 125 degrees Sky Harbor airport shut down because as it was revealed later, they had never actually tested the airplanes for those temperatures. They never expected to have to fly in them. The catch is that for the rest of us running around in that heat back then it just “seemed a little hotter” that day. Nothing special, just a little hotter.

I guess I have a different perspective on the weather. I am still making up for a lot of hot dry years in the desert. I don’t want to be cheated out of a pleasant 75 degrees with the occasional rain to water my plants. I don’t want to have to think about planting decorative gravel instead of grass or cacti instead of fuchsia. I already had that. I want lush cool greens like they promised me when I crossed the border and they handed me my complimentary latte` and rain gear. Apparently I need frequent watering.

Smart dog and "Sketchy" the frog.

This was not actually rain but what my neighbor referred to as a "dampening" not truly raining but rather dampening the rocks. sigh. Still, it looked pretty and not everything is wilting or whining. No matter how much I am.