The reason I wasn’t too worried about one of those agonizingly long stretches of rain usually referred to as “When will it ever stop?” and “I literally can not remember what the sun looks like” is because I have become addicted to looking at satellite weather pictures. No longer am I left to hang on every word of some over puffed, over powdered, goofball on local television telling me everything about absolutely nothing which I could easily see for myself if I bothered to look out a window. He never tells me what I really need to know because A. he doesn’t actually know anything that’s not on the cue card in front of him and B. he’s still bitter that he didn’t get the big gig on CNN where they have real professionals do your hair and makeup. He’s sure he could have really been somebody if he wasn’t stuck doing time in some backwater fashion hell “paying his dues”. Yeah, I’m skipping that guy’s segment now and spending my time looking at the big picture baby!
Well this big picture known to me as “that glorious weather satellite” and offering any pole, hemisphere or land mass, I might wish to look at told me that we are getting this month’s air from the warm and wonderful South Pacific and that nasty little rain pelting was but a brief passerby. I was ready and waiting with my pond-side-sitting gear. Sure I could find some gardening task to do on a nice sunny day, shoot even a not quite so rainy day would do but, that’s not what I watch the satellites for. No, I watch the satellites so I know exactly how much time I really do have to lounge around like a big fat bum before I have to admit I lounged around like a big fat bum and didn’t get stuff done. That bubble headed powder puff with the happy sunshine chip on his shoulder isn’t going to tell me that information now is he? NO. He’s going to tell me that it’s going to be all “sunshine and lollipops for the next five days so grab your gardening clogs friends and head outside.” Then when it’s raining like the end times on a holy roller of package of revenge the next five days he just shrugs his trustworthy looking tweed jacketed shoulders as if to say “See, this is why you need me, Mother Nature is just so unpredictable.” GAAAHH
The WeatherChannel.com is on my desktop and I am not afraid to use it Mr. Untrustworthy Tweed Jacket Man. And seriously, give the rugged dry look hair thing a rest will ya? Everyone knows you haven’t been outside since 1975.