Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Fat Lazy Slobs Love the Weather Channel

Over the past few days we have had some pretty heavy rains. Nothing to write home about or even blog about for that matter, not that I’m going to let that little detail stop me. I wasn’t to worried about it though and what I mean by worry is that special kind of North-Western/Seattle worry that comes when it rains and the temperature isn’t cold enough to freeze you like discount pop-sickle; anything above that and we want to be outside…preferably in shorts. Of course if that means we have to wear wool socks with sandals and fuzzy collared parkas over shorts well, so be it. The important thing is that we’re outside. Sure, we may be the backwater of the fashion world but we do it with giant recycled cups of melted caffeine candy bars from Starbucks and a bunch of funky micro brews, nobody really cares what we do anymore. Besides we can cut off your internet and you all know it.
The reason I wasn’t too worried about one of those agonizingly long stretches of rain usually referred to as “When will it ever stop?” and “I literally can not remember what the sun looks like” is because I have become addicted to looking at satellite weather pictures. No longer am I left to hang on every word of some over puffed, over powdered, goofball on local television telling me everything about absolutely nothing which I could easily see for myself if I bothered to look out a window. He never tells me what I really need to know because A. he doesn’t actually know anything that’s not on the cue card in front of him and B. he’s still bitter that he didn’t get the big gig on CNN where they have real professionals do your hair and makeup. He’s sure he could have really been somebody if he wasn’t stuck doing time in some backwater fashion hell “paying his dues”. Yeah, I’m skipping that guy’s segment now and spending my time looking at the big picture baby!
Well this big picture known to me as “that glorious weather satellite” and offering any pole, hemisphere or land mass, I might wish to look at told me that we are getting this month’s air from the warm and wonderful South Pacific and that nasty little rain pelting was but a brief passerby. I was ready and waiting with my pond-side-sitting gear. Sure I could find some gardening task to do on a nice sunny day, shoot even a not quite so rainy day would do but, that’s not what I watch the satellites for. No, I watch the satellites so I know exactly how much time I really do have to lounge around like a big fat bum before I have to admit I lounged around like a big fat bum and didn’t get stuff done. That bubble headed powder puff with the happy sunshine chip on his shoulder isn’t going to tell me that information now is he? NO. He’s going to tell me that it’s going to be all “sunshine and lollipops for the next five days so grab your gardening clogs friends and head outside.” Then when it’s raining like the end times on a holy roller of package of revenge the next five days he just shrugs his trustworthy looking tweed jacketed shoulders as if to say “See, this is why you need me, Mother Nature is just so unpredictable.” GAAAHH

The is on my desktop and I am not afraid to use it Mr. Untrustworthy Tweed Jacket Man. And seriously, give the rugged dry look hair thing a rest will ya? Everyone knows you haven’t been outside since 1975.

Armed with my trusty eyes on the world satellite information I worried not when the rain poured down after teasing us with sun breaks only the day before. No, I did not whine and whimper with fear of a rainy spring leading into a no summer at all wet fest like we had not so very long ago. I smiled smugly as I sat safely dry on the porch bench sipping my morning latte` and patiently waiting for tomorrow. Yes, I knew. I knew exactly how much time I had to sit around like a lazy bum on holiday with low expectations and nowhere to go. The spring cleanup can wait another day or two, the beds in back can wait till the weekend and the garage has all summer to dry out…I hope it dries out. The porch rails need repainting and the porch floor could use a serious touch up too. The benches need refinishing and the windows desperately need power washing, I might even try sand blasting a few of the really bad ones. But for right now, I’ve got time. Time to slip out to the pond during a sun break and soak up this rare warm spring weather. Time to enjoy the birds in the garden the fishes schooling about in the pond and our new found pond buddies, Praline and Butter Nut. Are those their names? No, not really but I just bought new coffee syrups today and I want to make sure those silly ducks have names so when my hunting machine of a dog eats them I’ll know what to put on their little markers. I know, I know. I thought they would figure it out and not come back but they seem to like it here…so far.

We are at least a month and a half ahead of last year at this time. Everything looks a lot better than it did then because it didn’t have three feet of snow plastering it into oblivion this year. I could have used a little more winter down time but I’m more than happy to map it out on the satellite maps, plan my mini down times by the pond and know that I really don’t have to worry about all that stuff right this minute just because spring got silly and came early. The invitation clearly said April-May. It’s not my fault if I’m still in my scruffies. Pull up a chair, I’m expecting another sun break any minute. May I pour you a fresh cup of coffee while we wait?


  1. I love your new garden buddies LeSan. They look right at home. Glad you are able to get outdoors and from what I can see, things are looking great.

    Have a great day ~ FlowerLady

  2. I'm a 10-day forecast watcher. I don't care about the satellite as much. It's the 10-day that really matters. I can see them over there in Georgia sitting behind a desk just laughing maniacally as they "predict" 60 degree weather 8 days out, lowering the temperature every day by two degrees until finally, the day arrives and it's 41. They do it on purpose. I know it. But I still watch. Hateful people they are.

  3. I loved this post! So true about our local weather people and I won't name names :) I usually search the internet for as many weather predictions as I can and then believe the one that predicts the most sun. I'll have to check out the satellite. But, they were sure right about today!!
    I love your duck visitors, we often see a pair stop by our yard for a short visit in the spring.
    I'm also laughing at Tom's comment :)

  4. Television channels broadcast by the use of satellite is called satellite TV channels. There is no unmixed blessing on earth. Everything has its dark side. Despite the dark side of the programs of satellite TV, it is beneficial. Some channels cause cultural decay and moral degradation by telecasting obscene & violent movies, music, dance & song. Young people most often watch the exciting films on violence & crime. They also see the obscene films. All these things leave a damaging effect on their soft mind. If once bad things lay root deeply in their soft mind, it will remain on their mind. We can enrich and foster our national culture by telecasting programs enriched with our own age old traditional social values in stead of frequent telecast of satellite cultural programs. We should try to imitate what is good in satellite culture & give up what is bad there.

  5. Get that coffee poured - I'm on my way! I want to sit by your pond, chat with you and watch the ducks :)

    I use the BBC weather satelitte , but I also watch the local weather - in the hope that the guy we call 'Mr Cool' will be doing it, then the BBC national weather for Rob MacElwey - because he REALLY enjoys giving out bad weather forecasts!!

  6. I hope those Ducks are fast fliers. LOL! They are so pretty especially the males emerald green head. Just not fail that the males are better looking.
    I have the Weather Bug on my desktop and I am not afraid to use it either. LOL! You crack me up.

  7. I should petition the satelite company to offer puzzles. That would be fun. Okay, I'm a dork.

  8. FLOWERLADY~ Yeah, they’re pretty cute aren’t they. Hehe. So far the dogs and cats have not been bothering them. I think I might end up bothering them though coming out every morning to have my coffee by the pond. It’s possible they may learn like the rest of the wild life that I am the food lady. That might be pretty cool for me I think. Ducks, horses, fish and birds in the morning. Fun!

    TOM~ Your comment cracked me up and I can see you understand perfectly! I couldn’t agree with you more—they are hateful, hateful people. LOL

    CATHERINE~ Too funny! You won’t name names. You know I had the same thought but we both know the faces that come to mind right away. Hehe. This week a fantastic I am looking forward to many more. Hey, I can dream can’t I? How long do your ducks stay? I love the “idea” of ducks on the pond but it probably isn’t the best thing for a domestic pond I suppose. I fear ducklings though goodness knows I would be tickled silly to see them. Can’t see how that would be a good idea though.

    BEAUTY SALON~ Thank you for leaving such a well thought out comment. The world is full of an awful lot of bad information with which to warp all kinds of minds. It is the duty of parents and individuals to weigh the benefits and costs of everything we put into our daily experiences. Television viewing is but one point of access to the mind, all of life accesses our minds as we experience it and I think we all need to do our best to put out positive energy and examples in the world to counter the negative.

  9. NUTTY~ How do you feel about lattés? That is actually what I drink every morning. We have a cabinet dedicated entirely to coffee and it’s accoutrements. I rarely have less than 20 flavor syrups in there at a time. I could also do a French press or even a white coffee for you. So yeah, I’m ready and I have a nice comfy afghan on the chair waiting for you.

    HOCKING HILLS~ I understand what you mean about it not being fair that the males are prettier but in a way it might be better. I mean, that way they are the ones trying to get all gussied up for us and we could finally get a break from all the primping we have to do. Either way we still bear and raise the children. Besides if we had it like the ducks we could skip the painful shoes and clumpy mascara while we’re doing it. LOL

    TARA~ I guess that makes us both dorks because I would love it if they made puzzles. LOL I really have info nerd tendencies myself. I would love to play around with global weather patterns and even more so if I could add celestial patterns to that as well. I mean the weather guys never say a darn thing about the twelve year solar cycles and that’s the most powerful effecting element on our weather. And don’t even get me started on the current electro magnetic field shift. Yeah, I lean a little to the nerd. Go ahead and petition for the puzzles, I sign it!

  10. Is that GREENERY I see in your garden? As in ACTUAL FORMS OF LIFE? My own lawn is brown and has pathetic little patches of polluted snow scattered about.

    I can't even look at you right now.

  11. Hi Lesan,
    I followed you here from Barbara Muir's blog. What a treat! Your photos are magnificent. I feel more peaceful just looking at them...a Cyber Spa!

  12. Hi LeSan. Your garden is a job well done, from your problems with rocks i can see beautifull blooms like pocket vases in between rocks. By the way i'm not wondering anymore why we have very early summer, very hot-humid weather, with still a long way for rain to come. Rain has been pouring in luxuriantly in your part of the world. Here our agricultural crops are dying, soil is cracking wide, thousands of hectares of corn and rice went to waste because of the early dry months. Attempts for rain-seeding failed because no groups of clouds are available in the atmosphere. They all went to your area, putting people to your state of emotions. Huh! Nevermind, it will pass and we will be happy again. Can i drop by for that wonderful cup of coffee while looking at your pond? I prefer a capuccino! thanks.

  13. Wow! I needed that! Can't wait for spring myself. I'm in MN, and it's been winter since, uh, well, forever.

    Come on, April!!!


  14. I like to look at your pond and the ducks. They seem so happy. I'd like to have some coffee and sandwiches and have a picnic there.

  15. Lovely pond shots with your garden friends LeSan! Where are you? I have gotten behind due to a horrid flu... that nearly four weeks out still has not left me entirely. I do hope all is well with you... no rock mishaps! Missing you! ;>) Carol

  16. Hello there, Blue :)

    saw in passing that your eye sight went all wonky on you :( so wanted to come in and wish you well. Plus the water running and birds chirping happily soothes me.

    Hope you feel better soon,

    no one-eye page refreshing :p


  17. It's good to know I'm not the only dork around. :] One day (in my spare time), I might get around to making that petition.